The Problem with No Problem

Most of us grow up having drilled into our heads the words “please”, and “thank you”. We were reminded or scolded should these important words not be heard from our lips in the appropriate situation. While some traditions change over time, it seems the concept of manners and certain etiquette are still socially accepted and taught. We learn other things as well, like the valuable lesson from Thumper, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”, and the idea that a compliment and/or a smile can brighten someone’s day. We learn the importance of generosity, patience, and kindness. We learn that it feels good to help someone. We learn so much as to how we ought to behave, not merely because it is what we are told to do, but because it feels good to do so.
I say “we” a lot.
I wish this was the case. I wish some of these values and manners and such, were woven into our very beings. Sadly, some of us are painfully aware of how far from the truth this is. We see fellows cursing in front of young children; angry customers reaming out the cashier-in-training; people ignoring the shopper who dropped his/her groceries on the pavement; people sneering and loudly vocalizing opinions on raising a child when they come across one having a fit. We live in a world of a superior “Me“; We can say whatever we dang well please; we yell and demand and have come to realize that half of the continent is completely incompetent.
We are inherently self-centered, selfish beings. Even the compliments we give aren’t accredited to the person we are complimenting, but rather, our own stamp of approval. “ I love your shirt!”
Jumping back to the “thank you” thing too; it seems “you’re welcome” has been replaced with “No problem”.  (or “Yup”,; “You betcha”). The problem with “No problem”? It kind of translates to, “It’s okay, you didn’t inconvenience me“. Maybe that works in some situations, but perhaps not all. I am terribly guilty of this; at work especially, where I frequently reply to thank you with “Yup!” Perhaps it is a cultural thing, but lets not completely butcher the English language. ( We’ll save that for social media ;))
Let’s try to be good people; to say please and thank you and you’re welcome. Let us be slow to anger, slow to judge, quick to help out. And may we do things not because it is expected of us, but – as mentioned previously – because it feels good and right to do so.


Is the Church Too Overprotective?

My husband and I host young adults’ bible study at our home every week. During the most recent gathering, the young adults’ pastor asked us what we think may be the main reasons Young Adults ( Roughly age 18-30) leave the church. Answers varied from relevance, judgement, pressure, lack of knowledge of scripture, etc.
Based on a Barna Group research project, studies show Reason #1 to be that the church is too overprotective.
(For complete article, you can go to this link: )
Too overprotective? What exactly does that mean?
Roughly a quarter of young adults felt that “Christians demonize everything outside of the church”. Others expressed Christianity as “stifling, fear-based and risk-averse”. And still others expressed, “my church is too concerned that movies, music, and video games are harmful”.
Perhaps some churches are too overprotective.
Is this a bad thing?
Sometimes the word ‘overprotective’ can draw up negative connotations. Like, association with what one is not permitted to do. Is this how the church has come to portray itself? The center of dos and don’ts?
The word “overprotective” conjures up  in my mind an image of the fretting parent, hand-sanitizing the kids after everything they touch, dragging them to the doctor after every sneeze, twitching with each minute that passes after curfew, etc.
The thing about being overprotective, is that I believe the intention behind it, is based on love and concern. However, I think being super overprotective can sometimes portray a lack of faith. God is so much bigger, yet still we try to control anything and everything, just to limit exposure to all that may deteriorate that upright, good, Christian armour we’ve worked so hard to maintain.
We try…
Limit exposure…
We’ve worked…
Not leaving much room for the Spirit to work, are we?

Young Adults leave Church because they feel it is too overprotective.
I don’t feel there is fault in protecting our hearts and each other. Except if it comes to the point where protecting becomes condemning and judging instead of loving. Obviously, over the years, some Young Adults have unfortunately encountered this.
We are the church. Sometimes we are broken. Sometimes we are scared. But we are learning what it looks like to completely trust in the Lord.
Perhaps some churches are too overprotective.
If this is the case, what should, or could we do, to figure this out?

Do You think the Church is Too Overprotective?